In need of a little brother...

So yesterday we had a game night with friends. Well Battle of the Sexes and Mario on Wii started going late so we put the kids to bed. I was nursing Ruark in his nursery when he got down (almost asleep mind you) walked over to his toddler bed where Alex was sleeping, climbed in and cuddled next to him.

I think it might be time for us to think about giving him a little brother...

Making Messes

So today I was running around the house all day cleaning up because we are having a bunch of friends over for games...when all of a sudden I can't find Ruark. I'm starting to panic a little...if you all remember Bronson's Miracle I posted about a few days ago, you'll be able to understand my paranoia is in a heightened state right about now.

Finally running around the island in my kitchen is where I find my little sweetheart...

As if he isn't sweet enough..

As if on a stelth mission he dumped out almost an entire bag of powdered sugar on the floor and was eating it and drawing things in the poweder.

Sigh...

I need to go clean the floors for the second time today.

Our life is changing...

This blog is very hard for me to write, in the middle of writing it I had to leave the room. I cried for the first time over all of this. I had to cry as I realized how our lives have changed. Cry for how my children's lives have changed. Cry for so much hurt and pain this will cause.

I woke up one day to everything changed.

This is a picture from Ruark's 1st birthday December 31st, 2009.

The week of January 22nd was very eventful. On January 22nd, my 61 year old stepfather Chuck came home from Arizona with a 20 year old Hispanic stripper, who is his girlfriend. No explanation has been made to anyone from Chuck. Instead his mistress started texting my mother and my family, saying she knows how we must be feeling. What a coward. After 15 years of him in my life he's gone.

This was my wedding day. He walked me down the aisle along with my dad, and then danced with me at the reception.He drove us down for our sealing in the Salt Lake City Temple for our 1 year anniversary...This is from our Nauvoo/Missouri trip this year, we went to see my brother's family for a long weekend.

Without a look back at any of us who called him step dad, grandpa or husband he left. No one has heard anything. I spent most of the past 15 years hating this man, and just when I start to warm up to him as I have the past year...he's gone.

Mind you he's gone with a girl 3 years younger than me and the same age as his oldest grandson.

And life goes on...

You would think 1 divorce would be enough to deal with...not so for our family.

The same week of January 22nd Chase's parents filed for divorce and finalized divorce papers last week. The last picture I have of them together is from Ruark's blessing last year. Although we've had many family dinners and trips together since then, I never took my camera. We knew they were having problems, they have for quite a while. But after 25 years of marriage it's over.

So today I am sad, but the sun is shining down the road. I am thankful for Chase and my strong marriage, a marriage that is closing in on 5 years, and is happier with each passing day. I am hopeful and thankful my children will always have their parents together and will never taste from this bitter cup. Determined that I will live out my life and throughout eternity with our family intact and whole.

Date Night

Our first date since having Ruark was Valentine's Day Eve. We were going to go out to dinner, but we had a late lunch and just weren't hungry. So we started out by going to the masquerade ball, and we had a blast dancing the night away with friends, and most importantly in each other's arms. We haven't been out alone since we had Ruark, who was 13.5 months. I never thought I would be the mom who wouldn't leave her kids, but yep that's me! I used to have an anxiety attack only thinking of leaving him, so back off I'm growing!!

After the masquerade ball we went out for ice cream all gussied up and then picked up our baby. Ruark stayed with Grandma for a few hours. He loves his Grandma and wasn't ready to go home when we got there, even though it was 10:30 he was running around after the puppies and was playing with all kinds of fun toys like the treadmill, printer and the wall heater. My son isn't a conventional child he LOVES electronics, if you give him a few minutes and he will have it figured out almost better than you do. Silly baby, slow down and stop growing up so fast.

We tucked this little boy in bed and finished off the night with sparkling cider and delicious chocolate covered strawberries. I was so thankful for a night out to remember how much we love one another and how much we still desire to be with each other. Chase is the most amazing father and husband I could ever ask for, he still exceeds all of my expectations. He wakes up in the night, almost every night Ruark wakes up. He rocks him back to sleep singing sweet tunes. I am grateful for him every day, but Valentine's was a great reminder just how much I love this wonderful man I call .... My Valentine.

There's a Mouse in our House!!!!!

We have a mouse in our house, the cutest little mouse you ever did see...

Chase and I keep finding things that Ruark has chewed his way through...

Candy boxes...


Toys...


Books and so much more...



We started noticing this trend a little while ago, but now more and more we're finding the edges of our books gnawed up. What's a mom to do? Luckily I"m pretty sure it has to do with the two year old molars that are coming in a year early! Hopefully this teething stuff is over soon!

Bronson's Miracle

A few days ago a friend of mine told me about this little boy from SLC (who is only a month and a half older than Ruark, so it really hit home for me) who drowned in the bathtub while his mother was just down the hall. Luckily his mother kept him alive while the paramedics were on their way. Yesterday I found the mother's blog she kept updated during the whole ordeal from her son's bedside in the hospital. As word of her blog spread, people from all over the world were praying for her son and sat vigil with her to read of his progress.

Bronson's Miracle

This blog is filled with faith, disappointment, fear and miracles. I feel enlightened, somber, overjoyed and reminded of how fast our worlds are turned upside down. It follows them through their darkest hours and through their greatest triumph. I would like to share this link to her blog. Mostly to remind us to stop worrying about small incidental things that can wait and to hold our babies a little closer at night. After finishing reading this blog, I snuck into Ruark's room while he was sleeping and held him for a few extra minutes. I gave thanks to our Heavenly Father and lifted up a hopeful prayer. I can't imagine going through this with Ruark, and I pray I never have to experience something so heart wrenching.

The sweet mother kept his alive via CPR, but had forgotten to plug his nose so he aspirated. I know I'm going to brush up on my CPR this week, I suggest we all do the same so we never forget this life saving practice if we are even called upon to use it. It was just a regular Saturday morning...

Click to go freshen up on your CPR

Goodbye Crib

Goodbye crib! We're moving up to a toddler bed!

Today has been a day for changes. Today Ruark decided he no longer wants to crawl. He's been walking here and there, but for the most part he just wanted to crawl or have us carry him. Alas, that is no more. He just decided to start walking everywhere today. Although it's so cute watching him toddle all around the house. It feels like he's finally graduating from baby to...*gulp*...toddler

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To make things worse, his toddler rail came via UPS today! So we fixed his crib into a toddler bed. I laid down the wrench to answer the phone, and apparently he did not want to wait, because he was tinkering with the crib trying to tighten the screws! He must get his mechanical side from his dad!

Trying to teach him the correct way to get off the crib, this is not one of them. Here he is going over the rail. So far he loves his new bed, he loves getting in and out all on his own and is sleeping soundly. Only time will tell! As for now, it will be a while until I see a crib in our house, and I'm just fine with that!

Slumber Party

My sister Danielle and I have always been the best of friends. She wanted a baby sister so badly, she prayed for me every night for years. Finally I was born when she was 12 yrs old. I grew up with her being like my second mom, I babysat her kids growing up and still feel so close to them. Her youngest Elle and I are very close. I was there in the delivery room when she was born, I was just 16. She was the flower girl at our wedding at 2 years old. How fast the years have flown by!

Friends since the beginning. This is my darling niece Elle. She and Ruark are the best of friends, on the day he was born, she got herself showered, dressed and was waiting patiently for her mom to get home from the hospital (Danielle, was my birthing coach) so she could come and see her new cousin. They are so cute together. She calls to talk to him, and loves on him the entire time they are together.

Ruark had his first sleepover a few weeks ago. Elle came over and gave me a much needed break. She played with Ruark with all of his toys, read him books and chased him around all day and night. She bought Ruark that pop-up book with the money she had from Christmas, and now Ruark makes me read it to him at least 3 times a day!

We made Rice Krispie treats and played Dance Dance Revolution, her favorite, and had a great time. When it came time to go to sleep she slept in his room so she could be right there if he needed her :) Ruark giggled from his crib when he saw she was sleeping in the same room, he was so excited to have her stay a little longer.

When morning came, she got him out of his crib and was playing with him in the front room so we could sleep a little longer. Ruark cried when she left to go home. We are so thankful for our family!!! They enrich our life, especially our sweet Elle.