A day for a miracle

Today I woke up to get ready for my O.B. appointment and felt an impression to leave Ruark with a friend while I went for my check up at 9:00. I felt a little uneasy and nervous. It started out normal, checking my blood pressure and my weight. They put me in an exam room and my doctor came in. We joked and laughed for a few minutes about things going on with my pregnancy. I complained about the ultrasound tech who had said "it mysteriously looks like a boy", "he might have club feet, but I can't tell" and my favorite "he might have a hole in his heart but I just can't see". My doctor asked if I wanted to repeat the ultrasound and I told him no. As long as the heart is fine everything else will be figured out at the birth. He thought that was a good direction to go and to hop up on the table to check the heartbeat. This baby has ALWAYS had such a strong heartbeat. The moment he touched my belly the baby's heartbeat was booming out of the speaker coming in at about 160 bpm. I was so relieved to hear that he was okay. I even commented how thankful I was the heartbeat was so strong and that's when everything changed. The moment those words were out of my mouth his heartbeat stopped. Then it slowly started beating again, it was barely beating. I tried to stay calm as my doctor tried repositioning the monitor for a better area. The heartbeat stayed slow. After about 20 seconds his heart took off. I've never heard a heart beat so fast and labored. You could hear it gurgling trying to catch a rhythm, I watched my doctor did his best to keep calm. He said we needed an ultrasound to see what was wrong he gave me a list of scenerios and rushed out of the room to see when I could be fit into the schedule. I could be fit in was 4:15 and told to try to stay calm until we knew what was going on. I called Chase who had started texting me during the appointment and was worried something was wrong. I told him what was going on and he agreed we just needed to stay calm until we knew what was happening. I called my mom and that's when the flood gates opened. I sobbed remembering my two sisters who each had miscarriages/stillborns at 6 and 7 months. Their hearts weren't strong enough and they lost their babies. I knew I needed a blessing. I got over to my Grandpa's as soon as possible because Chase is out of town and there's no where else I wanted to go. He just got home from the temple and I felt sure he was in the perfect frame of mind to give me a blessing. During the blessing I could hear my Grandpa struggling trying to bless the baby with health. In the end he could only bless me to have peace, comfort and understanding. I was worried. I just wanted to hear the baby was okay. I went to put Ruark down for a nap and relax for a few hours at home before I had to go back to the doctor. I was going to put on a soap opera to get my mind off of everything. It felt so wrong to be asking for a miracle from my Heavenly Father and waste the time away with such trivial things. I spend the next few hours on my knees in prayer, reading my scriptures, watching conference talks and reading wonderful words of inspiration and prayers flooding in from facebook and text messages from amazing family and friends. I opened my scriptures to to start reading when my eyes fell on page, "behold I go to the mansions of my father and shall be clothed in glory". NOT what I wanted to hear. 3-4 times I opened my scriptures similar scriptures were the first I read on the page. Finally I turned to a different page and read "get down on your knees and pray". I don't know if I've ever prayed so hard. I was exhausted when I was done and climbed in bed to listen to conference and rest. For two hours I laid on my side waiting for the baby to move. No matter what I did to poke and prod the baby he wouldn't move. I was sick. When the time came to leave for the doctor I was frozen in fear in my bed, unable to move. Ruark went back to my friend's house and I set off to the doctor with my mom and my sister. The moment the ultrasound started you could see what a strong heartbeat he has. He was curled up in a tiny little ball and refused to move out of his position. He is a stubborn baby, he did the same thing at the last ultrasound. The heart was perfect, my doctor came in to check. He was amazed there was no longer any problems, we watched for half an hour and everything was perfect. He told the ultrasound tech he wanted the baby's feet checked for club feet. The feet were perfect, no problems. He wanted the gender checked again, she looked for a little bit and said, "they told you it was a girl, right?" we were all seeing that there was nothing between the legs for a three or four minutes and said no, they thought it was a boy. She was surprised. Finally she said oh well, I think there are testicles right there. NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I told her we were told the same thing last time and we needed her to check further. Baby was not cooperating, as usual. He stayed in a little ball and finally she said oh I'm sure it's a boy I think it's right there. Of course his hand was down there covering himself. We didn't really care. The only thing that mattered is that the baby is healthy. I know my baby was having problems, we heard his struggled heart beating. I know it's because of the wonderful priesthood blessing I was given, all of the prayers and faith exercised on his behalf that healed whatever the problems were. I am so thankful for such a loving Heavenly Father who never left my side through this trial and provided me such sweet peace on a day full of turmoil.